He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
