Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
