I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize