Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
