Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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