Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
