I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
