a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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