would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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