Swine flu is the new snow day.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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