Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
