I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
