well I can't set my house on fire every night
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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