Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
