College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
