And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
