he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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