I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
