Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
