Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
