Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
