8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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