I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
