i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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