They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize