I smell stomach acid.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
