Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
