I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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