Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
