Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
