It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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