the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Boobs speak an international language.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
