I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
