So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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