I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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