By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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