I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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