you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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