Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I looked at my own cervix.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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