I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
