you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
