So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
