So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
