If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
