i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
