YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
