What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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