Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm getting married
To pizza
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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