gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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