Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
